I acted as if the last 6 months were a minor blip in my life and had fresh haircut and shave, put on my nicest tweed suit on and went to both the weddings, after two days of leaving the hospital. I was happy to see my friends and they were happy to see me.
One thing I haven’t discussed and that is diet. Diet has been the key factor in my recovery. Suffering with Crohn’s for most of my life became a walk in the park, sitting on the toilet 21 times in one day was normal because I would think oh my Crohn’s has flared up. I would eat food knowing I was going to suffer, but it was worth it for the taste. None of it was f*cking worth it when it perforated my f*cking bowel. Why was I playing with fire? I would eat fast food, processed food and sugary sh*te everyday. Almost everyday I would order food and rarely had anything homecooked. Eventhough I would weighlift, I would follow it up with a McDonalds. I loved burgers and Coca-cola as I would drink 2-3 cans per day. If it wasn’t coke, it was definitely something fizzy! Sweets! How I loved my sweets and I would eat them everyday. If I was hungry, I would eat sweets or I would drink a fizzy drink to trick my body to feel full because I was too lazy to make food. The only healthy thing I ate was the lettuce in my burgers, which is why it was no surprise I was frequently deficient in vitamins and minerals. There is no chance on God’s green earth I am going back into hospital so it was time for a drastic change.
While been crippled and unable to walk, I would sit there and research food and nutrition. I wanted to educate myself as much as possible, where now I am at the point that I know what vitamins and minerals are in the food and drink I am consuming and how they benefit or affect my body. I spent alot of time preaching about diet and I still do because I cannot stress how important diet is, not only for your gut, but your brain, mood, sleep and other bodily functions.
Two weeks into my freedom and on the 9th of June, I went food shopping in the morning and came home to made a smoothie then suddenly my body started to shake uncontrollably. I was burning up and I could not control my arms and legs as they were shaking so vigorously it became painful. I was scared as no one was home to help and I could not reach for my phone or stand up. It would not stop, it was like my arms and legs were waving around like them inflatable tubes you see at used car dealerships, except my body was shaking in overdrive. Eventually I managed to call for help but my then it calmed down. A friend came over to help me and kept me company. I refused to go to the hospital, I was not going to go back! It wasn’t until my sister came home in the evening and felt my head and said “you have a temperature”. Then it was like a lightbulb when off and I said “sh*t, that only means one thing, that I have got an infection”. Now I am sh*tting myself as I thought my bowels have got infected following the surgery so I was left with no choice but to go to A&E.
I went to A&E around 6pm and as soon as they checked my temperature, it was sky high. This is what caused the uncontrollable shaking. There were three options in my head that this could have been: I have a normal infection, the PICC line is infected or my bowels are infected. I was hoping for option 1 or 2. I was given a bed at 3am so spent forever in A&E, typical but it was okay as there was an 80 year old woman abusing the staff that kept us all amused. The doctors ran tests as they thought the same 3 options as me. Well it turned out to be the f*cking PICC line that got infected. That was kept in just incase I got ill but it’s the thing that put me back in hospital. I suppose this was another blessing as it resulted in it being pulled. When they did, I didn’t realise how long it actually was, as it was around 1 foot because it was up my left arm, across my shoulder and down towards the heart. I came out of hospital after a long weekend stay and all I could think about is that this 3 inch deep hole in my stomach should heal in 2 months so I can go back to the gym.
I turned 27 on the 7th of July and thought that I will go back to the gym on the 10th. My mind was and still is focussed 100% on diet and the gym. The magic number of 50kg that seemed to unattainable was finally reached! I am 8 stone. I put on 3 stone in the space of 5 months. I was training 5 times a week and weighing myself almost daily. I was still writing in the journal and I originally wrote 53kg as the pinnacle weight as this was the heaviest I ever reached before. September came around and I am 53kg! I felt lost because where do I go from here? F*ck it, now I am going for 57kg (9 stone) by October. I have never even come close to the weight before as I always hovered around 7.5 and 8 stone.
October has come around and my weight has skyrocketed from 53kg to 58.1kg (9 stone 1)! I went from 33.6kg (5 stone 2) in February and by October I reached 58.1kg (9 stone 1), I wasn’t far off from doubling my bodyweight in 8 months. As well as my lean weight gains, I have made strength gains too as I have reached a new personal best of 155kg deadlift and 170kg trapbar deadlift which in context to my size and weight is impressive.
The hard work, focus and determination is paying off in a big way. The thoughts of what I endured and knowing it was life threatening has never escaped my mind as I think I about it daily but it’s the fuel for my fire that kept me going from strength to strength.